Acara: Pameran Pendidikan Korea 2011

Tempat: Jakarta Convention Center (JCC ) Senayan

Waktu: 2-3 Desember 2011

link: http://goo.gl/atuag

Info Pameran Pendidikan Korea 2011

SAMPLE #B09 – GAS LEAKAGE DORM

In a windy end of autumn, this happened in a female dormitory, around back side of campus. It has been told directly by my friend, plainly suprised. I couldn’t imagine how this can be happened in this sophisticated-country.

She talked with her friend, a Korean, in her room.

She: “Hi, how are you?”

Friend: “Hmm… so… so…”

She: “So.. So.. ? why?”

Friend: “Do you know what happened here few hours ago?”

She: “No, I don’t know. I went out.”

Friend: “There was accident, but not really accident.”

She: “Really? Tell me!”

Friend: “Somehow, such a strange smell spread out throughout the floor and building. Everyone panicked, including the dorm officer.   They thought it was a gas leakage from gas stove.”

She: “Hmm…”

Friend: “Using the dorm speaker, the dorm officer announced to anyone who used gas stove to hand it over.”

She: “Hmm…”

Friend: “The smell keep striking out. But the culprit didn’t response at all. The dorm officer announced until three times before she gave up by calling the fireman to search out the problem.

She: “Hmm…”

Friend: “The fireman got into the dorm and looked around. But, he got nothing.”

She: “Then?”

Friend: “Then what? It’s a mystery till now.”

She: “No, I don’t think so.”

Friend: “What do you mean?”

She: “Few hours ago, before I went out. I ate DURIAN in the lounge. Then I threw away the durian leftovers in the trash can in the center of building. That gas-leakage smell was my DURIAN!”

Friend: “!@#$%^&*+)(*&^%$#@ – what is Durian?”

Me: “!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@”

FYI: Durian is a famous fruit from Indonesia which has smell slicing your nose. link

 

 

—

 

SAMPLE #B07 – Aku Cinta Kamu

Saya dan teman sedang makan pizza di suatu siang di musim gugur. Seorang teman saya yang lain, kebetulan humoris, sedang berbicara dengan teman Koreanya di meja sebelah. Kami menyimaknya.

Teman Korea: “In Korean, nice to meet you means ‘mannaso bangabsemnida,’ what is it in Indonesian?”

Teman: “nice to meet you means ‘aku cinta kamu.’

Tiba-tiba, teman Korea tersebut menoleh ke arah kami,

Teman Korea: “Hi, aku cinta kamu.”

Teman saya: “aku juga!”

Saya: “@#%!%^$&￦=+&”

—

SAMPLE #B08 – Bangs*t

Teman saya tersebut diatas tersebut kali pertama ke Korea tiba di bandara. Dia sangat lelah dan duduk menunggu di pelataran parkir bus. Seorang sopir taksi tidak resmi menghampiri untuk menawari. Teman saya sangat terusik maka usil.

Sopir: “Bla… bla… bla… (dalam bahasa Korea)”

Teman: “Sorry I don’t understand.”

Sopir: “Bla… bla… country?”

Teman: “Indonesia”

Sopir: “Thank you, what? What?

Teman: “Thank you means ‘bangs*t‘”

Sopir: “Bangs*t! Bangs*t!

Kemudian, seorang teman lain datang.

Teman lain: “Aku kaget. Ada sopir taksi teriak-teriak ‘bangs*t’. Kamu ya yang mengajarkan?”

Teman: “Ya.”

Teman lain: “@%$%^&*()#?$=☆●★”

—

SAMPLE #B05 – PASAR KEMBANG

Suatu waktu di Surabaya, setahun yang lalu.

Saya baru tiba di terminal Purabaya, bingung mau kemana.

Tiba-tiba,

Supir: “Mas, taksi mas, sini saya antar.”

Saya: “Pakai argo Pak?”

Supir : “Iya pakai argo. Mas mau kemana?”

Saya: “Hmm…” (masih bingung)

Supir: “Kemana Mas?”

Saya: “Hmm… ke pasar yang jual ‘oleh-oleh khas’ Surabaya saja deh Pak.”

Supir: “Oh, Pasar Kembang yah Mas?”

Saya: “Pasar Kembang yang seperti di Jogja Pak?”

Supir: “Hmm…, iya Mas!”

Saya: “@#$%^&*)(*&^%$# – mau beli ‘oleh-oleh’ atau ‘boleh-boleh’ nih – OK Pak!”.

info: apa itu Pasar Kembang?

–

SAMPLE #B06 – AIR TUMPAH

Suatu waktu saya pergi dengan pesawat terbang di Indonesia.

Di samping saya, duduklah seorang ibu yang kemudian terlibat pembicaraan dengan pramugari.

Pramugari: “Ibu, mohon maaf, mohon air minuman di gelasnya dihabiskan.”

Ibu: “Oh iya, terima kasih, Mbak.”

Pramugari: “Soalnya kalau pesawatnya jatuh, nanti airnya tumpah.”

Saya: @#$%^&*()(*&^%$# – percaya ga percaya ( @.@) – “

—

complete list of Korean Humor - 46 stories so far.

SAMPLE #B03 – HAMBURGIRL

At early autumn season.
Talking with my labmate.

He: “Hi…”

Me: “Hi…”

He: “What are you looking at?”

Me: “Hmm… Picture.”

He: “Wow, she’s georgeous.”

Me: “Hmm… Sure.”

He: “Who is she? Your girlfriend?”

Me: “Hmm…I hope so.”

He: “Wow, how great is she?

Me: “She is a humble girl.”

He: “Hamburger sounds delicious.. yummy.”

Me: “@%#?^!￦]#*%?☆ – it’s humble-girl not hamburgirl.”

–

SAMPLE #B04 – PROFESSOR QUOTES

We played sepak takraw in Korean style with our professor.
We enjoyed the game till we forgot the score. I didn’t care the score but the professor. He asked someone while playing.

He: “Guys, did you remember how our score was?”

Me: “No.”

Other: “Hmmm…”

One: “Sippaaaaaaal!”

He: “Moragooooo (what did you say)?”

We: “★◎$￦※☆※&■▼◀▲ it was 10 – 8 as ‘sip‘ – ‘ppal‘-”

Note: there is a similar pronounciation of ‘sippal‘ or ‘ten-eight‘ that means a very rude word among Koreans.
Look at this: link

—

SAMPLE #B01 – OPEN FIRE

Fall semester just begins.
We were all talking in ‘mejom’, some kind of minimarket.
Four of us at midnight.

Suddenly, a Korean guy came to us.

Korean: “Jogiyo 저기요… “

We: “Yes.”

Korean: “Did you put anything in the microwave?”

CDH: “Yes I did.”

Korean: “I think it’s on fire!”

CDH: “Oh my God… it’s FIRE.”

We: “&*()@*#&$￦#*?@ hhh – never put aluminum foil inside microwave or it burns-.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

—

SAMPLE #B02 – EXPRESSO

He told me when he came to South Korea for the first time was snow fall. He stuck there.
He wanted to sleep at airport. He was very sleepy and tired. He was t00-young-ordinary-boy.

She: “Good evening Sir.”

He: “Yes.”

She: “What do you want to order?”

He: “Hmm…”

He looked around the menu list.
He didn’t know what to order.

She: “Sir, your order?”

He: “Expresso please.”

We: “$￦☆♡&★@#%? -salah gaul jadi salah pesan, mau merem malah melek-”

—

Sample #A39 – Drama Korea

Middle of summer. Talking with my Korean roommate.

He: “I just finished watching IRIS drama last night. It is so good.”
Me: “Oh really? Hehe.”
He: “Thank you for your recommendation.”
Me: “You’re welcome.”
He: “Do you have any other Korean drama suggestion?”
Me: “Hmm.. yes there are The Greatest Love and City Hunter, and also Protect My Boss.”
He: “Wait!!! I am Korean. Why am I asking you?”
Me: “*#@#%.?^$￦&☆ – ask yourself then.”

—

Sample #A40 – Medical Check-up

Gloomy morning. I came to the campus clinic to perform medical health check-up. I followed the sequence of tests: urin sample, blood test, weight and height check, and hearing test. Then, the next test was electrocardiogram (ECG) measurement. I talked with a young female nurse. She was Korean but could talk English.

She: “Good morning, Mister.”
Me: “Good morning.”
She: “Lay down to the bed please.”
Me: “Okay.”

I laid down the bed.

She: “Now, take off your pants!”
Me: “Whaaaaaaaat?”
She: “Ups, sorry. I mean pull up yout shirt.”
Me: “@%#,(+$&※☆ – my ECG data is not valid.”

—

Ahad itu, jadi pula saya berangkat ke kota Jeonju (전주), kira-kira 60 km sebelah Selatan kota Daejeon. Untung saja rekan seperjuangan saya, DP, begitu sigap membangunkan saya, hampir saja bablas terjebak di alam mimpi.  Dengan bus dalam kota, kami awali dengan menyusuri sisi Timur Daejeon yang sudah lebih dulu hangat . Tibalah di Terminal Bus Ekspres Dongbu (동부) yang jauh di pinggir kota; lalu kami memesan tiket dan berangkat menuju Jeonju yang tersohor atas Bibimbap-nya. Baru 10 menit berjalan, bus berhenti di suatu halte yang tidak asing bagi kami. Oh, ternyata busnya mampir ke halte ini. Oh, kenapa kita tidak naik dari halte ini saja, lebih dekat dengan kampus. Oh, setelah enam bulan hidup di Daejeon saya pun tidak tahu cara pergi ‘keluar’ dari kota ini. Oh, ternyata saya terlalu asik bermain di halaman rumah saya. Oh, ternyata ini pelajaran pertama pagi ini.

Asrama Chonbuk National University

Kami mendarat manis di Terminal Bus Jeonju yang terletak di tengah kota. Bermodalkan panduan GPS di Google Maps pada android, saya mencari taksi dan meminta diantar ke kampus Chonbuk National University (전북대학교).  Sembari taksi melaju, kami memandang ke luar jendela, melihat suasana kota Jeonju yang tenang dan damai. Tidak begitu berbeda dengan kota Daejeon, kecuali skala bangunan yang lebih kecil, gaya bangunan dan tata kota tampak serupa. Kurang dari 15 menit kami tiba di gerbang kampus, tapi kami tidak tahu harus mendarat dimana. Kami berdebat dan memutuskan untuk masuk ke dalam, kemanapun, karena kampusnya luas, demikian Google Maps saya berdongeng. Supir taksi pun pusing dan melajukan sendiri mobilnya, mencari jalannya sendiri. Pun kami tersesat dan mendarat keras di depan asrama, entah asrama apa. Karena saya, sehari sebelumnya, berjanji untuk bertemu di kampus, tapi belum merinci di sebelah mana. Dan karena saya juga, dua hari sebelumnya, baru berkenalan via jejaring sosial semata bersumber dari teman saya. Bahwa ada seorang mahasiswi Indonesia yang belajar di universitas ini, yang kemudian dia menceritakan bahwa ada empat mahasiswa lain disini. Akhirnya, ternyata ada lima pejuang hebat yang berkarya di kampus yang konon terluas ketiga di Korea ini. Bahwa kami, selama ini,  tersesat  dalam labirin pencarian para pejuang intelektual sebangsa setanah-air. Dan, disini, di Jeonju, kami sambung asa bersama dengan mereka.

Danau dan hamparan teratai mekar.

Kami dipandu menuju danau luas di tepian kampus. Hawa hangat semerbak mendramatisir pandangan indah ini, hamparan bunga teratai mekar menjulang memenuhi sebagian danau. Amboi. Amboi. Amboi, begitulah ajaran guru bahasa zaman dulu. Saya masih tertegun kagum, sementara kaki saya berayun terombang-ambing jembatan gantung ini. Helaan nafas panjang penuh perasaan lega menggaungi diri saya, sembari bergumam bahwa ada hal lain di luar halaman rumah sendiri yang indah dan memesona. Para pejuang data dan aksara itu menuntun kami ke sebuah cafe kecil di tengah danau, di ujung jembatan gantung, dan di atas lantai dua. Dan masih mata ini dimanjakan oleh para mahkota teratai itu. Amboi! Kami berdua dan mereka bertiga adalah orang asing satu sama lain, kami belum pernah bertemu, kami belum pernah berbicara. Satu-satunya pertalian kami dan mereka adalah kesamaan nasib bahwa kita adalah mahasiswa asing disini lengkap dengan segala konsekuensinya.

Minuman coklat dingin itu saya nikmati perlahan karena saya tak mau melewati momen terbaik bersama para pejuang yang baru saja kami ‘temukan-kembali’. Kami dan mereka saling memperkenalkan diri, kami bercerita tentang kehidupan kami di Daejeon, dan mereka bertukar cerita tentang kehidupan mereka di Jeonju. Mulai dari prikehidupan kampus, akademik, hingga prikemanusiaan di lab dan ‘cerita’ standar para kaum terpelajar di Korea ini. Sembari demikian, kami kemukakan tujuan yang membawa kami kemari adalah tak lain untuk menyambung tali silaturahim, untuk berkenalan, dan sekaligus jalan-jalan. Semula kami menyangka hanya ada seorang mahasiswa di sini, namun ternyata ada lima mahasiswa: dua mahasiswa pertukaran pelajar, dan tiga mahasiswa doktoral yang sudah lumayan lama (baca: tahunan) di sini. Alhasil, kami bertanya pada diri kami sendiri mengapa baru saat ini mereka bisa di-’temukan-kembali’. Mengapa kota Jeonju yang strategis ini bisa luput dari gaung semarak persatuan pelajar di Korea ini.

Matahari telah meruntuh ke sisi barat, terik sinarnya terpantul silau di permukaan danau. Perkenalan berumur secangkir coklat dingin itu pun berakhir saat itu juga, namun cerita perkenalan ini akan terus bergulir dan berlanjut. Bagi saya, perkenalan ini adalah momen awal dan pelajaran penting untuk bisa melangkah bersama. Dan kini, tiada lagi istilah kami dan mereka, yang ada hanyalah ‘kita’. Kita, dimanapun kita berada, adalah pelajar Indonesia!

Bersambung…

Bersama para penggiat ilmu Chonbuk National University

SAMPLE #A37 – YES SIR

We went to near Seoul to a project meeting using KTX (Korea High Speed Train). We talked.

Professor: Have you ride KTX before?
Me: “Yes Sir.”
He: “Where did you go? Seoul?”
Me: “Yes Sir”
He: “Which part?”
Me: “Kintex. Exhibion. Motor related, Sir.”
He: “Motor show?”
Me: “Yes Sir.”
He: “Did you take any pictures?”
Me: “Yes Sir.”
He: “Car model or girl model?”
Me: “Hmm..”
He: “Both of them?”
Me: “@*#^(#*$￦& – YES Sir.”

—
SAMPLE #A38 – 1000 DEGREES

Still in the same meeting. We talked about the confrence room. It was summer. Hot summer.

She: “Last year I attended the same meeting in this room, too.”
Me: “How was it?”
She: “Uh, it was like a hot pot. Soooo hooot.”
Me: “The aircon was on?”
She: “Yes, but I don’t know how they set it up.”
Me: “Aha, I know why.”
She: “Really?”
Me: “Was the meeting about Solid Oxide Fuel Cell, too?”
She: “Yup, so why?”
Me: “That fuel cell operates at 1000 degress Celcius, it makes you feel sooo hooot.”
She: “$+=&$]$=&><※￦☆ – make sense!”
—

Complete List of Korean Humor

SAMPLE #A35 – TOOTH PASTE

This is the story of my friend. I repeat this story is nothing to do with me. As the confirmation, I have been told by him via messenger so I have solid evidence this tragedy happened ON him, not me.

On hot bloody summer. In the bathroom. HE is my friend, other ONE is the guest.

He: “byur.. byur.. “
He: “lala.. lala.. ♪♬”

Suddenly.
One: (Speaking in Korean) “bla bla bla”

He suprised and turn around.

He: “What the… ??”

He opened the curtain and talked in English. They saw each other without any curtain, literally.

One: “Tooth paste. Can I? Please.”
He: “Wow wow.. hmm.. Sure. Here.”
One: “Thanks.”
He: “@#$%^&*()(*&^%$# – you and me: naked!”

—

SAMPLE #A36 – THE PANT

At some random Saturday. Hot hot summer. We went to ice skating. Three of us were unskilled skater. We tried by walking slowly at the edge of the ice field. Suddenly, gubrak.

He: “D*mn, I fell down.”
Me: “Wow. You torn apart your pant. Wow.”
He: “Oh my God.”
Me: “Let us step aside. I’ll buy a pant. Just wait.”

Outside the ice field, I found the counter that provide shor pant. I said yes to whatever the seller said and put down my phone number. I paid and grabbed the pant. He used it till we finish several hours later. We came back to campus. And my phone rang.

He: (Speaking Korean) “Bla bla..”
Me: “I don’t understand. 영어 English?”
He: “Pant. The pant.”
Me: “Why?”
He: “Give back.”
Me: “What? It was rented? Not for sale?”
He: “Yes. The rented pant. Please give it back.”
Me: “#@?.4%#.?♡￦]※ – what a life.”

—

Written from KTX with Prof.

Complete List of Korean Humor